Hi Reader,

Barbie thinks she's the main character.

At the beginning, Barbie has the dream life.

She has the house.
The clothes.
The friends.
The community.
Everything looks exactly the way it's supposed to look.

And then she starts thinking about death (like many of us in midlife).

The life that had always made sense doesn't quite fit anymore. Nothing necessarily changed on the outside, but something changed on the inside.
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Just like you and me, she may have built the life she thought she wanted:

Marriage.
House.
Kids.
Career.
Family vacations.
Financial stability.

She checked the boxes. So, what's the problem?

We treat women's dissatisfaction as something that needs to be fixed.

Be more grateful.
Stop overthinking.
Marriage is hard.
Focus on the positive.
Maybe you're expecting too much.

But, dissatisfaction and restlessness are information.

And Barbie goes on an adventure to figure it out.

One of the big revelations of the movie is that Barbie discovers the world isn't organized the way she assumed it was.

There are expectations attached to being a woman. There are expectations attached to being a man.

How much of the life you're living did you consciously choose?

What does a “good wife” do?

What does a “good mother” sacrifice?

Who manages everyone's feelings?

Whose career takes priority?

Who remembers everything?

Who keeps the peace?

And most importantly: what happens to women in order for relationships to "function?"

Becoming the main character doesn't mean: "Everyone revolves around me now." It means: you stop disappearing from the story. It means you have: preferences, desires, limits, a sense of belonging to yourself, financial independence, interests, choices and sometimes you disappoint people because you are not a support character, you are the main character.

Your romantic relationship is nice to have, not all that you have.

In the end of the Barbie movie, The resolution isn't Barbie gets Ken. And it also isn't Barbie destroys Ken. Barbie realizes that neither of them needs to exist solely in relationship to the other.

Ken has to figure out who Ken is.

And Barbie has to figure out who Barbie is.

THAT is healthy interdependence.

Two people who have identities, friendships, interests, desires and lives of their own and then choose how they want to be in relationship with one another. If you've spent years playing a role in your partner's life, you may have lost sight of where they end and you begin.

So, the question isn't should I stay married? The more important question is who am I, and what kind of life and "story" do I actually want to write?
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That's why I created Girl Talk, to help women figure out how to decenter the romantic relationship and recenter themselves as the main character of her story. Get started by signing up here.

Until Next Monday, bye for now 👋🏽

-Melanie

Ps. Find me on IG @mel_braswell​

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