Hi Reader,
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Being a mental health therapist is a wild experience, not good or bad, just wild, like hard to describe.

There is a joke, "how do you regulate a therapist?"

"Put a client in front of them."

I could not agree more. As soon as I sit in my counseling chair and turn on the camera, I lock in. It's not to say that I don't sometimes get distracted, but for the most part, I can hold space for all kinds of information. I can remain calm to help co-regulate, I can observe without getting caught in the weeds with clients.

All this to say, therapists can witness a lot.

So, I know there are women out there walking around, carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders, waiting for their weekly therapy session.

How secretive it is to be a woman struggling in our culture, with so few outlets to be seen and heard without judgement?

I know women are struggling because I am swimming in the same patriarchal waters. Some of you may not know you're in water yet? If that's you, you're probably feeling fine. But, if you are waking up wondering how the heck you got "here," you're not alone.

You're not imagining inequitable division of household mental, emotional and physical labor.

You're not imagining managing everyone's mood to manage your own.

You're not imagining sacrificing yourself to keep the peace, because if you don't you could very easily blow up your life as you know it.

We've been taught that questioning a relationship means we've already failed (how convenient for the Patriarchy to keep women in their place). We're afraid of being judged, because society absolutely f'ing does judge women about everything. We don't want to hurt the people we love, so we'd rather hurt ourselves.

And yet, I don't hear women talking about this in social circles, only in circles of coaches and therapists willing to charge ahead and rally the troops with reckless abandon to burn down the patriarchy and start over.

I'm not asking anyone here to go first; I'm happy to do that, but I can't tell who's coming with me.

If what I have said so far makes sense, what keeps you from taking a journey of deconstructing all the inherited rules you grew up with? I know it's scary to let go of what is familiar. The devil you know is better than the devil you don't know?

If you've ever wished there were a place to have these conversations without being judged, I am creating spaces for that. What kind of support, community, or resource would help you feel safe enough to join them?

I recently made a post on IG about which pill would you take the red pill or the blue pill (from the Matrix). Which will you take? Check it out and let me now: Red Pill v. Blue Pill​
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With Respect,
Melanie

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